


honesty need not be feared

by orphan_account



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The issue with Catra is that she’s Catra: the same Catra that she grew up with, the same Catra that begged her to come home, the same Catra with the stitched up face, broken by purple-white light as she reached for Adora.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 64





	honesty need not be feared

**Author's Note:**

> S5E10 rewrite

_I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything._

Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more. I'm surprised that I say it with feeling.

There's a thing in my stomach about this. A simple thing.

— Richard Siken, ‘Crush’

Adora races her to the forge even when both of them are trembling. They pass by the hall Catra and Hordak fought each other in, and Adora whistles through her chattering teeth. Perfuma has abandoned all stealth, and she’s been walking about the Fright Zone like she’s been here a thousand times. Netossa rushes after her, hissing about safety while Perfuma calls Scorpia’s name. Catra knows what that’s like — to call someone’s name, regardless of fear of what will happen if someone hears.

_Catra? Catra, come out._

She shakes her head. There are too many memories attached to here, too many times Adora and her tumbled through the corridors, yelled at each other, scratched each other ( _You didn’t have to do it. Why did you do it?_ ). She turns away from Hordak’s lab, ignoring the feeling of familiarity of the last time Adora asked her.

“Scorpia! Scorpia, it’s me!” Perfuma calls. Netossa groans, jogging after her.

Adora just stares.

“It’s weird, right?” she says, like they both can’t feel each other shaking.

“Perfuma’s always like that,” says Catra. She doesn’t even know Perfuma, but knows that she’s desperate to find Scorpia.

They both know that’s not what Adora meant.

They find Scorpia in one of the corridors. She throws a tank at Catra when she tries to apologize, and manages to hit Netossa instead. She goes flying, electricity crackling around her. Catra knows she’s gone still — that’s _Shadow Weaver’s_ power. The Black Garnet’s power, really, but Catra will always see it as Shadow Weaver’s. Adora calls for her sword a second too late, and Scorpia manages to send her sprawling. Netossa screams somewhere in the distance, and Adora shoots her a look before she’s running after her.

Catra turns to Perfuma, who looks like she’s just swallowed a frog. “Looks like it’s just us, Flower Princess.”

“That’s a lame nickname,” Perfuma sniffs. Then she sends a vine towards Scorpia.

―

Adora manages to call the sword, brandishing in front of her while Mermista struggles against Netossa’s binds. She disappeared the moment Spinnerella sent a blast of wind at them, not even looking back at Adora as she sprinted after her. Mermista is still struggling, but Adora doesn’t have time to subdue her. She squeezes her eyes shut as a blast of power extends from the sword, hitting Mermista square in the chest. She doubles over, coughing, and Adora turns and runs.

Perfuma and Catra aren’t in the corridor anymore, so Adora backtracks. It’s weird enough to be back, but Catra — Adora never thought Catra would come back, after the portal.

_I never hated you._

Even then, when Adora had stepped out of the portal, she had not hated Catra. The issue with Catra is that she’s Catra: the same Catra that she grew up with, the same Catra that begged her to come home, the same Catra with the stitched up face, broken by purple-white light as she reached for Adora.

She ends up at the dorms. Catra’s not here, has not slept here for years, probably. Her bed (is it still her bed? Was it her bed to start with, or was it theirs?) is neatly made. There’s no pillow. Adora sits on it and stares at the wall. Their faces are drawn there, both smiling and crude, shaky hands because they were giggling too much. She brushes her hand over her face. There are claw marks. Adora knows it must be Catra’s doing, and it hits her like a punch how much Catra suffered.

There was always _something_ between them.

“I’m sorry.”

_I’ll never say sorry to anyone, ever._

Adora doesn’t understand how they lived like that. She remembers the shock on Catra’s face when Adora had revealed that Shadow Weaver and Hordak had been manipulating them, training them to be cannon fodder. That’s not true, though, because Adora was never cannon fodder. Shadow Weaver had made sure she knew that, but Adora had never stopped to wonder why she was different, why she wasn’t cut down like Catra had been, mercilessly and bitterly.

The sound of water. Adora needs to call Glimmer.

She doesn’t look back when she leaves.

―

Catra struggles as Horde Prime steps down from the throne. Perfuma has gone very still, only her hands trembling.

“Little sister,” he says. Catra casts a look at Scorpia, at the angry red power around her. Prime smiles. “Does her magic remind you of someone?”

Catra startles, even though she knows she should stop reacting. She knows he knows, knows he sees all. But — Melog brushes their tail against her hand, and she realizes that some things are still hidden.

“Yes,” she says. Apathy, apathy. She learned from the best.

Prime smiles with no teeth. “It must upset you.”

“It doesn’t.”

Perfuma gasps. “You think you know everything about us, but you don’t! Scorpia would never hurt me!” She pauses. “Scorpia would never hurt Catra.”

_Oh, Adora. But you have already hurt me._

Prime’s smile turns indulgent. “Scorpia will do what I ask of her.”

“Scorpia!” Perfuma is yelling now, even though Scorpia cannot hear her. Catra couldn’t hear Adora, either, could only hear the roar of blood and Prime. 

Melog hisses. _Glimmer,_ they say. _She’s here._

“Poor child.” He tilts her head, fingers gripping her chin. “Your mind is full of anger.” He turns. “Scorpia.”

Scorpia turns to them. Perfuma is still yelling.

Catra squeezes her eyes shut. If she’s going to die, she will do so proudly. “I’m sorry,” she says.

Something flickers. Then everything fades in a burst of light.

―

Perfuma is meditating when Catra finds her. She looks shaken, eyes pinched tight.

“Scorpia dropped a beam on us,” she says by way of greeting.

Her eyes flutter open. “Scorpia missed,” she says. There’s a smile in her voice. 

Everything aches. Catra has been searching for power her whole life, and it still burns bitter. She thinks of Scorpia, of the electricity crackling around her, of Entrapta and the fear on her face when Catra had electrified her. Of Adora, of _because you left me_ and her body, slumped on the ground because of Catra, because Catra had held the stunner to her chest and left her shaking. Of Shadow Weaver and the methodical way she’d taken Catra apart ( _You’re nothing but a nuisance to me_ ), of how she’d put her back together ( _fingers brushing the hair behind her ears; Because you remind me of myself_ ).

Perfuma stares at her. “She missed because of you.”

Catra sits down. She’s not sure what to say, so she waits until she can breathe evenly. “How do you know?” She sounds so small and she hates it.

“Because I know Scorpia,” Perfuma says.

Catra wonders how she can tell she knows someone. If she knows anyone, she knows Adora. Her eyes flicker up to her, to her messy ponytail and the pretty way she bites her lip when she’s thinking. Catra aches.

Perfuma’s smile becomes knowing. “I think meditation will help you. We can get through all of the bitterness, the anger, your negative attitude—”

Catra barks out a laugh. “Slow down,” she starts, but then Perfuma is pulling her into a hug and Catra melts.

She closes her eyes.

_I’m always gonna be your friend._


End file.
